Not Enough

Dear 15-year-old self,
You have just received the call of a lifetime. Your mind is whirling, spinning with dreams and hopes of what could be or what will be. Of the places you might go, the things you might do… And who it might be with. Don’t let that distract you. Over the years, you will be rejected many many times. You’ll believe the lie for a long time that you aren’t enough. Aren’t smart enough, aren’t beautiful enough, aren’t good enough… But that is so far from the truth. Because the truth is, your calling is so much greater than them. One day a boy will tell you something that will change the way you see yourself. He’ll tell you that problem isn’t that you’re not enough, but it’s that you’re too much.
You’re too passionate, like a raging wildfire that can’t be quenched. You’re too independent, only depending on the One who saved you. You’re too kind, thinking more of others than yourself. You’re too committed, centering your life around the One who gave His just to be with you. You’re too strong, doing things and going places others would never imagine with a courage not admired in women. You’re too loving, with a love so fierce you would travel to the ends of the earth just for one person to hear the very name of Jesus. One thing he says changes your life:

Your calling is too big for me.

These words will sting at first. Do not let these words hurt. No, let them bring glory to God. Because if you’re honest with yourself, you would never do these things without Him. If He had never called you to it, you would be ordinary. But God didn’t call you to that. He called you to do big, bold, wonderful, beautiful things. The calling He gave you serves a purpose.

So be too much. Never let any man make you feel lesser for being too much. Be as passionate as the wildfire. Let it burn so hot that others are caught on fire with you. Be as kind as a summer breeze sweeping over your skin, easing life for others. Be committed to the death, because one day it may come to that point. Be strong as the lion, never letting fear keep you from where He is asking you to go. And love. Never be afraid to love people so deeply that it hurts because that is the love of Christ.

Let yourself be too much. Don’t let anyone make you feel like less than you are.
Much love, the girl that’s too much.

One response to “Not Enough”

  1. junglemissionary Avatar

    I love you Caitlin for the woman you are and the woman that you are becoming every day!


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